Breaking Free From People Pleasing

People-pleasing is ultimately an attempt to protect the self, but is rooted in fear. This behavior holds the deeper fear of rejection, judgment, criticism, disapproval, abandonment, or even conflict. It often stems from a deep-seated belief that it is more safe to give people what they want to avoid those fearful states. 

With this whole energetic tangle, your worth somehow became determined by how much you give, how agreeable you are, or how well you meet the expectations of others. But constantly prioritizing others over yourself eventually just leads to resentment, exhaustion, and a loss of self-identity. 

For so long, you may have believed that it was your mission to avoid the pain of "their" disappointment, so you bent over backwards, sacrificing your own needs to the extent that you do not even know what your needs are anymore.  You embedded a belief system that if you could just keep everyone happy, you would finally feel at peace. 

But the truth is, this vicious cycle of over-giving, overachieving, and overanalyzing your way through life has led to an inner state of dissatisfaction and resentment.

Your peace is not found in external validation—it is found within your heart. It doesn't come from doing, it comes from being.  

Here are three ways to break free from people-pleasing tendencies:

1. Know Your Needs –  Your desires matter just as much as anyone else’s and there is nothing wrong with taking a pause. Before automatically agreeing to something, pause and check in with yourself. You can say to them, "let me get back to you." This creates the space for you to pause and then ask yourself two questions: “Do I really want this? and Does this serve my alignment right now?”
   

2. Set Energetic Boundaries – Recognize that saying “NO” is a complete sentence. You do not need to explain your boundaries, you can begin to assert your boundaries with language like. "No, I am not available then." Notice the period (.) without an explanation. Saying NO, strengthens your YES. It creates space for you to get in better touch with the truth of your YES. It may seem like a funky way to get there, but it is a huge step in the direction of self-respect. Boundaries protect your energy and allow you to show up in the world authentically.
   

3. Prioritize Internal Validation– When you begin to deeply understand that your worth is not measured by how much you do for others, it comes from aligning with the truth of your internal YES, everything changes. True self-worth comes from within, not from their approval or praise, it comes from knowing yourself and the more you validate yourself, the less you need it from the outside world.

   
   

Knowing your needs, setting energetic boundaries and prioritizing internal validation are not selfish acts, they are necessary steps to empower you.

I’ve seen this transformation happen over and over again, both in my life and in the lives of those I guide. I have become more committed to my inner peace, my natural flow, and the needs of my energy than to the expectations of others. And it has changed everything.

I am so willing to be the villain in their story, because that means that I have truly prioritized my own inner peace. 

Choosing yourself is not a betrayal of others, it is a devotion to your soul.

When you finally recognize that you are the only one keeping yourself in the cage of people pleasing, that this behavior was a weak attempt at self protection, you can then learn how to break the vicious cycle of overgiving -- and everything will shift.

There is nothing more powerful than being more committed to your own healing, than to your fear of rejection. This is the moment you know you’ve broken out of the people-pleasing trap. This is the moment you realize who you are truly living for.

And the freedom that comes with this shift? It is one of the most liberating results of deep spiritual healing work that I teach my students.

Living in Alignment

When you live in alignment with your highest self, you naturally break free of patterns like people pleasing. It just becomes the result of healing beyond what no longer serves you. Are you ready to break free and finally ready to step into a reality where your worth isn’t measured by how much you give, but by how aligned you are with your truth? 

Come with me on a 6 month journey to learn the how-tos of breaking your inner attachments to people's disapproval, judgments, and learn how to prioritize your own needs, so you can go on to serve others at your highest and aligned level.

This path will unlock daily satisfaction. 

We are showing empaths (like you) who learned at a very early age, how to give people what they want to avoid the pain of others disappointment, to break free into a world where you

1) Know and prioritize your own needs

2) Unhook from past conditioning

3) Heal on a cellular level

4) Become emotionally healthy and spiritually conscious

5) Fulfill your soul purpose 

6) Awaken to a life of true freedom

This is all done in our High Level Healers Journey that we offer through our Spiritual Life Coach certification. If you want to change your life in these 6 ways, you can learn more about our program here.

The moment you stop feeding into this old pattern of people pleasing and see that it truly no longer serves you, is the moment you create space for an entirely new reality. This is where your true transformation begins. 

Getting into alignment with your higher self not only serves you, it then naturally uplifts those around you because the flow of energy comes from abundance, not depletion. Your higher self serves from an overflow and people can naturally feel that shift of energy.

This shift changes everything.

It is Time to Change

Now that you know some of the foundation to why you may be a chronic people pleaser, I invite you to step out of that cage. It is time to realize you were never truly trapped, you were only conditioned to believe that prioritizing yourself was selfish.

Every thought you think is a choice, every ounce of mental energy you invest in putting their needs before you is a choice. You have so much more power than you realize, it is time to use it.

HEAL WITH US

With Light,

Sophie Frabotta, M.A.

Author, Certified Spiritual Life Coach, Healer

Hi! I am Sophie Frabotta. I am a heart-centered, soul leader who is so honored to be doing this work. With over 10,000 hours of 1-1 experience, a leader in the field of Spiritual Life Coaching, and a Globally recognized Spiritual Life Coach Certification – I teach students the depth of real transformation in a way that most have never seen. Having transformed my own body, mind and spirit, I am honored to take you into your inner chamber, show you how to lift out of karmic soul wounds and stabilize your higher vibration in 5D.